Forever
by Ashley A
Summary: Post shanshu. Angel and Buffy together. Sap sap sap!


Timeline:  Post shanshu.  Buffy and Angel together.  Lots of squishy lovey dovey stuff. Sap sap sap!  Buffy's POV.  

Feedback:  Yes please.

You may use this story with permission.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my other stuff, you have been very kind.  Keep it coming!

He sleeps soundly beside me, my Angel.  It seems funny to say that now, what with all we've been through in the past years.  I never in my wildest dreams thought that we would really end up together.  Oh, I know that sounds bad, but deep down, don't you always have doubts about the ones you love?  I know Angel loves me, has always loved me.  With all the…crap I've seen and well, been a part of, it's hard to fathom the reward that's snoring next to me.

We've been living in this small apartment in L.A. now for a few months.  It's been a bitch to try and make him look for a home.  I think he's still a little scared something might happen to us.  I try to reassure him everyday with a look, a touch, a kiss, that nothing on this Earth will ever tear us apart again, but he's still so…unbelieving.  I guess I am in way, also.  It's hard to be optimistic when you've been through what we have.

He stirs now, makes a small sigh and turns his back to me.  I run my hand lightly over the gryphon tattooed on his back.  I still remember the first time I saw it, _wow, a boy with a tattoo, so daring, Buffy.  _The last remnant of his lost time, which is how I refer to the days before Sunnydale.  It seems appropriate to think he was lost without me.  I know I didn't know anything about anything until I met him.  He is my home.  Which is another reason why we need to find one, together.

He turns to me, awake now.

"Buffy?  What is it?" he says in a sleep-riddled voice.  Oh, I love that voice.  Middle of the night love is the best!  I know, I know.  What a slut.  Oh well, you would be too if you had this in your bed.  

"It's nothing, honey.  Go back to sleep."

He sits up on his elbow, fully awake now.

"You sure?  I thought I heard you…"

I touch his face, thrilled when he closes his eyes with the sensation of contact.  My poor baby, alone for so long.  I ache with sorrow when I think about the wasted time we spent apart.  So many years, so much pain.  But, it's worth it.  It's totally worth it to have sacrificed so much, and in the end to receive…this.  I don't know if I can describe the emotion I feel just looking at him, being with him, smelling his scent, having him with me every day.  

          "Angel," I whisper.  His eyes open, beautiful pools of chocolate.  He catches my hand, kisses it.  "Yes, love?"

          I get a thrill every time he calls me that.  Love.  I do love him.  So much it's heartbreaking when he's not around.  The Angel Investigations team is still going strong, except for the fact that the boss can now move around in the daytime.  I help where I can.  Having been a slayer for so long, I still have my uses.

          "Go to sleep.  It's late.  And you promised tomorrow…house hunting."  He grimaces.  "I did?  I mean, yes, I did.  You have any place in mind?"

          As we go through this yet again, _he's so stubborn! _ I drift off and just gaze at him.  My prize.  If he had a bow wrapped around him "1st place slayer prize!" he couldn't be any more beautiful.  And with his now human body, he's better than he ever was when he was immortal.  Skin slightly tan, with laugh lines a little deeper and small flaws that make me love him even more.  He has some gray in his hair!  Wow.  It's funny the little things you take for granted, and yet they are the first things you notice when they aren't there.

          "Uh, Buffy, are you listening?"  He's looking at me quizzically, and I suddenly have the urge to laugh.  So I do.  He smiles, confused, not sure what I'm laughing at.  "Are you sure you're alright?  Do you need anything?"  I break off giggling and put my arms around his oh so very broad shoulders.  He comes willingly to me, and we nestle together in our lovely oak four poster, the one EXPENSIVE! Item we have in this rinky-dink place.  

          "No, Angel.  I'm fine.  Actually I'm perfect.  I'm sorry I woke you."  He smiles down at me, though since I'm not even with his face I can only feel it.  "I'm not."  And he kisses me.

          I still feel an explosion every time he does this.  From my scalp to my toes.  He's gentle at first, then more demanding.  Moving from my mouth to my neck.  Oooh!  I love the neck thing.  A small scar is still barely visible there, from almost a lifetime ago, when I saved him once.  I would do it again tomorrow if he needed it.  His lips on that spot, so soft, yet so….ooohh, I say again.

          He runs his hands through my hair, pulling at it slowly.  I look up at him.  Our foreheads meet, and we sigh together.  Aren't we such a silly lovesick pair?  

          "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but if the Powers ever decide that I actually haven't fulfilled my destiny, I might have to dust myself than be without this," he laughs softly, his hand tracing circles on my arm.  "God, I love you so much," this last part is whispered like a song to my heart.  I still can't believe it.  I know I keep saying that, but honestly, it's true.  My Angel.  Here with me, in our bed, in our _really crappy _apartment.  Although, I could live in a refrigerator box with this man and be satisfied.

          He grins at me slightly wolfishly, and I bat my lashes at him coyly.  Or I at least try.  I was never very good at the coy thing.  He gets out of the bed, crossing the room quickly in his boxers.  Jeez, that's another thing.  It's always cold in this place.  "Honey?  Where are you…"? I get out before he's out the door and into the living room.  Now what is he doing?

          He comes back quickly, with a hand behind his back.  "What?" I ask, not entirely liking not knowing what's happening.  

          He jumps back in the bed with me, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me to him.  "It is always so damn cold in here," he grumbles.  "Well, yeah, silly.  Yet another reason to go house hunting."  I poke him in the chest with my finger, trying to accentuate my point.  He grabs my hand, suddenly very serious.  Hmmm, what's going on?  

          "I know this isn't very romantic, or beautiful, or warm even," he starts, looking me in the eyes.  "But I can't wait any more.  I was going to do this on your birthday, but…" my birthday is in three weeks…oh, is that a…very small box in his hand?  Oh. My. God.  I suddenly can't breathe, all thoughts of houses fleeing from my mind like dust bunnies on the run.

          He hands it to me, and upon further examination I realize that, yes, dufus, it is a small box.  I get so dumb around him sometimes.  Maybe it's the eyes, maybe the half naked chest, or…okay, Buffy, stop drooling and open the box.

          I find the small catch on the outside, and it flips open easily.  Oh, wow.

          A gold Claddagh ring.

          "Look at the inscription," he urges me, smiling so hard I'm surprised his head doesn't split open.  So I do.

          _Forever.  That's the whole point._

"Oh, Angel.  It's wonderful," I manage to say before the tears start.  I'm such a sap!  Oh, god, he loves me!  He loves _me!  _I never in my stupid teenage fantasies ever imagined a love like this, one that has crossed time and many a good apocalypse, surviving the end of days and the hellmouth closing to finally end exactly as I had hardly dared to hope.

          "Do you like it?" he asks, unsure of himself and his heart-shattering gift.  I smack him on the arm.  "Duh!  A thousand duh's!"  He smiles that brilliant smile again, and I hand him the ring back.  "Put it on me," I say, and put out my hand, trembling slightly.

          He takes my outstretched fourth finger and slides it on slowly.  "I have been dreaming of this since the day you kicked my ass to the ground in that dark alley," he tells me, smiling through his own tears.  "Please wear it.  Please spend the rest of whatever…this is we have with me.  I don't want anything else in this life.  I could die tomorrow and be happy because I spent one minute in the sun by your side.  You make me want to be the man I never thought I could be.  I would be whole if you just let me even tremble in your shadow as you passed me by.  I love you, Buffy Summers.  Please stay with me.  Forever?  How's forever for you?"

          Oh God.

          He waits for my answer, still uncertain.  How could he not know how much he means to me, how much I desperately needed to hear those words from his lips?  I think I will never feel a moment of utter contentment like I do now.  

          "Angel…yes.  Forever is great for me."

          A smile like the sun itself breaks out on my love's face, and we crash together, laughing and crying and loving each other eternally, always, soul mates, each the other's home.

          I've always known some kind of love, be it my mother, my sister, my friends.  Yet nothing can prepare you for the wrenching, gut splitting feeling of this.  I have no more words.  

          We lay together on the four-poster, soothing each other with caresses and kisses that seem to burn like a thousand stars.  What does this mean for us?  Can we be certain enough after all the craziness?  After the battles, the war, the loses?  I stare at the glinting gold representation of Angel's love for me on my finger, and I know that we can.  We can.  This is our reward.  To live in this life, through it's hard knocks, it's ups and downs, it's great times, and it's numbing sadness.  He loves me, and I love him.  What more can a girl ask for?


End file.
